“Do you know how much time and exercise it
takes to lose weight? It’s impossible!”
[When I was working out in
a tank top...]
“We need to get you a
sweater. This is a no guns facility. You
can’t bear arms here.”
“I gotta go chase my wife
around the house. She’s on
crutches. She never wins.”
[On dating…]
“Here’s what we are
gonna do. We’re gonna start by finding you
a seat at the bar…”
“You are destined
to be an Old Maid.”
"Be careful. He's straight out of Bridgewater Correctional..."
[On my love for
Family Feud…]
“Let me tell you, even
preseason baseball is more beneficial to you than Family Feud.”
“We need to get you a
dictionary. Stop watching Family Feud
and start studying the dictionary.”
“Work ethic is dead.”
[While holding up a gym towel with a hole
in it…]
“Just
like the Ritz!”
[Talking about high school…]
“We
had hieroglyphics in the morning at about 9:30 AM…”
Jen: You rock Jimbo!
Jim: Well, I’m going to
roll for a bit then I’m going to get out of here.
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